To-Do List

I have done a few projects in the house, but oh so much more remains to be done. Not one room is really complete yet either. Frustrating.

These are what I hope to accomplish this year:

1. Paint Master bedroom

2. Make a headboard for the Master Bedroom

3. Paint the Living Room and Dining Room

4. Paint the dining room chairs, refinish the table top, and paint the china cabinet

5. Paint my side table in the Living Room with stripes

6. Get slip-covers for the living room furniture destroyed by the cat

7. New curtains for the Dining Room

I'm so over the plaid and the taffetta

8.Makeover the back porch into a pretty "outdoor room"

This is a very ambitious list, and even if a few items get done I will be happy.

Make it a Great Day!
Ann

Back in Town

I have been AWOL since December, bad girl.

 

In that time,

• I finished my "2nd time around" kitchen. Pretty much.

• Decided that the monotone look in my dining room and living room is boring me to tears.

• Planned and executed my life-long dream of going to Hawaii (in a upcoming post, a trip report series)

• Bought a "real" camera...(Canon) I do not yet know how to use properly.

 Stay tuned.

Make it a Great Day!
Ann

Lazy Hazy Days of Fall

I can NOT belive my last post was way back in July. I have been very bad about blogging this summer. Basically, this was my summer:

After a very promising initial growth spurt, my tomatoes, zucchini, and tomatillo just stopped producing. The tomato leaves turned brown, and the tomatoes were small and dry. Except for a few heirloom "Indian Reds" and my cherry tomatoes, it was a bust. My basil did OK. My tomatillo was lovely with all it's yellow star shaped flowers and prolific foliage, but only TWO tomatillos grew and the plant was almost 5 ft high! Oh, and the zucchini? TONS of flowers. Only ONE stinkin' zuc. Oh well.

I am not sure what we are doing wrong, but it was very disappointing.

All my projects ended up undone. I had planned to stripe a side table, paint a chair, make a starburst mirror for my fireplace, paint my kitchen ceiling, and fix the backyard. What did I complete? Nada, nothing, zilch. I'd like to tell you it was because we travelled to India, Fiji, France and Italy, then hopped on over the Hawaii and cooled it for a few weeks. No. Our only excursions were an overnighter in San Diego, a trip to the LA Zoo and a day at Raging Waters. Let me tell you, with 2 dogs and 2 cats, and 3 kids that have sports all through summer, there is not a lot of time or money go anywhere.

Well, hopefully the cooler weather will bring some inspiration. Fall is actually my very favorite time of year and in the last day aor so I finally painted my fireplace hearth, and laid some gravel and pavers on my patio. Yeah, I was readying up for a party and just did it. I also rearranged the furniture in my LR for the bazillionith time. I'd love to show you all a picture, but my camera is broken and even my BRAND NEW *cursed* phone's camera is not working. Oh well.

More soon.. ...don't give up on me, baby! How was YOUR summer?

Make it a Great Day!
Ann

Detaching with Love

I guess I can call myself a recovering control freak. Not the sort who is bossy and mean (at least not usually). The sort who never wants anyone to be unhappy. So she goes around soothing hurts, shushing insults, making excuses for people and generally orchestrating peace accords.

It is not too difficult mending my ways. I read somewhere it is a disrespect to the very people we try to protect and to ourselves. If we don't believe a person is capable of regulating their own emotions, navigating relationships and making good choices, well then, we probably don't think much of them now do we?

So I am trying. Trying to stay out of it when the kids fight over trivial stuff (of course except when it gets violent). Trying to stay out of it when Dad and Son are arguing over how to play a video game. Trying to stay out of it when people choose to do something that you just KNOW won't be good for them. Trying to walk away when someone is in a bad mood, instead of prying to try to fix it.

Recently a committee I'm on held its annual party. Its a fun affair, a bunch of nice moms enjoying desserts and coffee for a few hours. But one of group never, ever joins in for anything.... I almost succumbed to calling her and "making her" come, I just KNOW she would have a good time. But I stopped myself. I said aloud, "Detach with Love". And so, I am.

Being a control freak also extended  into my housekeeping years ago. It took away time from my enjoyment of my kiddoes when they were babies. I spent inordinate amounts of time worrying about how my house looked when really, did it matter then? Now I have the time, but then I did not. If I had to do it all over again, I would have ignored everything else but hubs and babes. But hindsight really is 20-20, yes? And, by the way,  white linoleum in a kitchen? A BIG no-no, ok? It never appears clean, even if it is. Now my kids generally do their laundry, who cares what drawer they put it away in. This really works (even with my 8 y.o. he's been folding since he was 4) because the morning they realize they've run out of clean clothes to wear is the day they learn to do it for themselves.

Well, those are my thoughts. I accept my faults and others', as long as no one gets hurt. I respect their right to make their own decisions. I hereby detach, with love.

Make it a Great Day!
Ann

Good Stuff Links

I love sharing, don't you? And I love when YOU share. How else would I have find this incredible, delightful world of blogging?

Thought I'd try something new. I love reading blogs almost more than writing my blog, so here's some cool posts I came across this week.

Whatever: She had me at "cheesecake"...but the whole blog is delish!

My Sweet Savannah: She's so cute, and I get lots of good links off her blog!

The Art of Doing Stuff I just got turned on to this blog by DesignSponge(another fave, its on my BlogRoll) and just check out what this girl does herself. Awe-inspiring.

How NOT to deal with Teens

This week we had a "situation" with my middle schooler's teacher. Not naming names. But all year, my child has had little complaints about this particular educator. And, normally, said child does not complain. I mentally started to compile all the things she's been saying all year and realized, somehow this teacher has lost her way with these kids...and upon reflection, I can see why, based on my child's observations. Luckily, my girl is moving on to high school next year, so we'll chalk it up as a life lesson, and well, the rest of the teachers were really wonderful. Look, I'm no expert here, and I am, admittedly, mainly learning as I go along.  My thoughts led to this post......

How Not To Deal with Teens:

1. Don't under-estimate them...yes they will complain mightily, but they are programmed to rise to a challenge. Tell them they "can't" and you'll never know if they could.....

2. Don't think they don't know you're not paying attention to them. Teens are wily-smart. They know. They're watching you, waiting. And they'll take any opportunity for advantage.

3.Don't think if you're "nice" just this once.... (ie. slacking off on discipline), you can save it up for later and try to cash it in. Slack off disciplining a teen and you will not receive gratitude; you WILL garner disrespect. It never works to say/think: "You Xc%$# little brat! How could you do this now..... After I let you off the hook last week...."

4. Don't be lazy. They will know you are just skating by, because teens invented the art of "just skating by...."

5. Don't try to be one of them. You are an adult, and teens don't really want you to be cool. The nerdy but genuine grown-up will reach them better than the one who tries in vain to be hip.

6. Don't hate them. They're teens. They are awkward, insecure, moody, and often insufferable, but remember: they are still children. They do still need us. Try to look past the eyeliner and the ripped jeans. There's a precious child in there somewhere, trust me.

7. Don't think they have it so easy. Teens are tempted everyday by all things illicit, and every day they resist can be a challenge. Give 'em props for that. Reward them for making good choices.

8. Don't give up on them. They are listening, watching, even when you think they aren't. They will sense when you've given up. Keep trying to reach them...chances are when you least expect it, you will be rewarded.

Here is a great post from Sarah at CloverLane (I just love her) about teens. Sarah, I hope I did not sound too much like your post in my post! I love your post about teens, it's all so true!

Take Care-

Ann

Facebook Bites

You know, I am really going to age myself here. Show you how unhip I really am. But I just gotta say it plain:  

I think Facebook stinks.

I know, everyone loves it, it connects you with family, friends. And that is true, I have connected with long-lost cousins by being able to see their pictures and stuff. But I am seeing lots of downside lately: facebook "fights" and slights, time wasted, envy, and just plain silliness.

Case in point: You post your opinion about something. Someone who never, ever comments on any of your adorable pictures, never visits your page and says "hi"..., makes a confrontational and snarky comment.  And you fight the urge to answer back with an even snarkier comment....  This leads you to think about how this person seems to have tons of time to make comments on many other FB pages and pictures, but never yours. Now you're annoyed...no, maybe you're even mad. Now you stop...you think.....this is ridiculous! If this happened verbally, on the phone or in person,  it would not have annoyed  me! What is it about FB? 
I tell you, Facebook has an evil side...it can bring out the dark side in you, if you let it.

No, I am not going to quit FB.  I will not be provoked. I WAS going to post a reply I will ignore it. It was silly, I guess I got what I deserved by putting my opinion out there to being with. Maybe FB is a perpetual High School clique, like minds commenting, "poking", commiserating, trading barbs, being, well, snarky, to those who don't "fit in"? I'm not sure. I want no part of that.I will play my scrabble and bejewled blitz (sometimes  always when I should be doing chores) and I will ooo and ahhh at photos of lovely family vacations and sweet children. I will resist the dark side!

How much is this really costing me?

I've been known to get obsessive, about decorating among other things. Recent obsessions have been: pillows, black and white fabric, and frying pans. Lately, it seems to be getting out of control with LAMPS/Lighting.

Here's how it goes down: It starts with a genuine need: I need lighting. My house is vintage 1969, and apparently, back then they did not believe in overhead lighting. Only table and floor lamps, and those hideous hanging genie-lamps on chains. Then, I find an inspiring picture in a magazine or online. Then, I become OBSSESSED with finding this look on a budget. I begin scouring GW and SA, I go to HomeGoods, Target, TJMaxx, BCF. I find a lamp for 49.99 that will work perfectly, but the one next to it, though the shade is not quite right is on clearance for 19.99. So now I buy that one and have to look for a shade...start process over again....but sometimes by the time I put it all together, I've lost my focus. Now the lamp is really not what I wanted in the first place. Its like a copy of a copy of a copy...it loses something with each incarnation.

About 6 years ago, I was in HomeGoods and found these lamps for 5.00 each. I bought 4, a good buy. I have 2 in my bedroom, with 2 new shades I bought at tuesday Morning for 14.99 each... also a good buy. There's one in my sons room, with this new shade I got at GW...but it has had many different shades on it throughout the years, I've spent anywhere from 2.50 to 14.99 on each shade.

This is my Stiffel lamp. I used to have my mom's Stiffel lamp, and I don't for the life of me remember what I did with it...but then I found this one recently at SA for 7.00. I liked it, and used a shade I already had. First it sat in my new LR. Now its on the desk in the den/kitchen. But the switch doesn't always work, that is annoying.

I got this at HomeGoods because the above lamp just never looked right in here. I really am not liking the shade...but I love the color and shape. It was 24.99 at HomeGoods, and I had a giftcard so it cost me nothing.

So, all in all, I've propbably spent, what, less than 100.00 on these lamps but countless hours looking for the right shade, and the right place to put it. Am I nuts or what? What is the real cost here? Would I have been better off just buying the lamp I loved and be done with it?

Actually, the one lamp I spent money on and still love is this Pottery Barn Kids floor lamp in my son's room. It was a big splurge at the time, but his room turned out so cute. His was really the only baby nursery I did "right", can you believe that? I missed out on doing my girls rooms the way I really wanted to, because, I don't know...maybe I was not that imaginative back then or something? That, or flat broke most of the time!




Any way, I see I have gone on FAR too long about lamps. And me, and why I do things.
Here are some faves:

PB lamp with Burlap shade...yummmmm... and West Elm bronze-ish metal base..ahhhh!!!

X=Y: Family Equations

Saw this:

You are the trip I did not take;
You are the pearls I cannot buy;
You are my blue Italian lake;
You are my piece of foreign sky.
(“To My Child,” quoted in Charles L. Wallis, ed., The Treasure Chest [1965], 54)

Here: Lindsay & The Johnsons

and it got me thinking....
What were things we "gave up" in order to provide for our kids?what would be the "equivalent" if we didn't have our 3 kiddoes?

• Trip to Hawaii, lifelong dream(why didn't I go before we had kids!)= Bella's braces
• Working full-time, perhaps now at management level=2 incomes=bigger, blingier house= being a SAHM
•  Summer trips somewhere exotic=staying close to home camping w/kids
• Buying a brand new home w/all the bells and whistles=older home/neighborhood,staying where the kids are happiest
• Romantic vacations w.hubs=renting movies w.kids
• Dinners out at the latest hot spots=chicken and mac n cheese

You know, none of the "before" things make my heart pitter-patter anymore, but this does:

Make it a great day!!!

Ann